The day ‘too much’ became ‘enough’

My last two blogs were about the fears of being ‘too much’ and not ‘ enough’.

They are part of what I’m calling ‘too much/not enough/enough month’.

This blog shares a personal moment when ‘too much’ became ‘enough’ in an unexpected, clarifying and hugely empowering way.

Years ago, I was on a student project team researching a particular subject which turned out to be massive.

When we pooled our contributions, I was told by my colleagues – in no uncertain terms – that I’d done ‘too much’, analysed ‘too much’.

I was devastated.

Like most HSPs, I love research and I’d just done what comes naturally.  I’d followed where trails led.  And my HSP brain – and the subject – had taken me in multiple directions!

Aware of this, I’d purposely only shared with my colleagues about a third of what I’d collated.  I’d consciously tried to avoid doing ‘too much’. And still failed!

My peers were annoyed and critical. I was baffled and outnumbered.

It never crossed my mind to say they hadn’t done enough.  I just expected we’d all follow our own leads and share what we discovered.

Admittedly, I had more time than the others.  But it felt more than that.  Like I’d over-stepped some unspoken line on how much was acceptable.  Enough.

I told someone how fed up I was of being told I’d analysed ‘too much’ (it wasn’t the first time).  And out of anger came glorious enlightenment …

She said, “I don’t think you analyse too much, Sally, I think you analyse enough to understand”.

That was it!  In a nutshell!

I wasn’t trying to be difficult or smart.  I wasn’t analysing for the sake of it. I was just gathering enough information so something made sense.  Held together.

In that moment, I was released from the shackles of other peoples’ opinions.  About that, at least!

All I’d needed was to understand my own behaviour.

I wasn’t doing ‘too much’.  I was just doing what was ‘enough’ for me.  And I loved that those words had been reconciled in one sentence!

When has a problematic part of your being an HSP suddenly made sense?

When has clarity replaced confusion?  Connected you back to yourself?

I really hope you’ve had an experience like that.  And if not yet, then soon.

Watch out for next week’s blog – and another take on ‘enough’.