HSP emotional loneliness and what to do about it
Recent research by the Social Health Institute of Palacky University Olomouc in the Czech Republic was the first to focus on social and emotional loneliness in HSPs. Social loneliness being ‘missing social networks’, and emotional loneliness ‘a lack of intimate relationships’.
The study found HSPs are more likely to be emotionally but not socially lonely than the general population. No surprise there! Emotions are our language, and quality of connection our currency.
Put simply, we need depth and meaning in our relationships; and the closer the relationship, the more important emotional understanding and intimacy are. If these are lacking, it can leave us feeling unmet, missed and alone.
But don’t despair. Here are 8 tips for managing and meeting your need for emotional connection:
Accept, don’t fight, your need for emotional intimacy. It’s an essential part of who you are. Denying it will just leave you even more lonely and at odds with yourself.
Notice when someone shows signs of the sort of emotional depth you value. There are more people like you than you imagine – up to 30% of people are now thought to be HSPs.
Risk starting a conversation. Take the chance to see if someone does offer the emotional depth and quality of relationship you crave. You might find the reward is way beyond the risk.
Pursue your interests and passions. You’re more likely to meet like minds and kindred spirits when you do. And it’s far easier to strike up conversations about something you’re interested in anyway.
Be honest about your current relationships. If some are emotionally draining or leave you feeling unmet, it may be time to end them or limit contact. Invest in relationships that nourish.
Ensure you get the alone time you need. Sometimes your emotional needs aren’t about connection with people, they’re about quiet, space and time out from engagement.
Do what soothes your central nervous system. Do what comforts and cares for your particular system. That sort of recharge is its own soul food and supports emotional balance.
Consider joining an HSP community. It’s a ready-made group of sensitives and source of HSP energy. Groups (even HSP ones) aren’t for everyone but they may well suit you and your needs. The resources page on this website gives some options.
Taking care of our emotional needs isn’t us being precious, just trying to get what feels marginally less important than food, water and oxygen. Connection is the antidote to loneliness. Go get some!
