The day ‘too much’ became ‘enough’
My last two blogs were about the fears of being ‘too much’ and not ‘ enough’.
They are part of what I’m calling ‘too much/not enough/enough month’.
This blog shares a personal moment when ‘too much’ became ‘enough’ in an unexpected, clarifying and hugely empowering way.
Years ago, I was on a student project team researching a particular subject which turned out to be massive.
When we pooled our contributions, I was told by my colleagues – in no uncertain terms – that I’d done ‘too much’, analysed ‘too much’.
I was devastated.
Like most HSPs, I love research and I’d just done what comes naturally. I’d followed where trails led. And my HSP brain – and the subject – had taken me in multiple directions!
Aware of this, I’d purposely only shared with my colleagues about a third of what I’d collated. I’d consciously tried to avoid doing ‘too much’. And still failed!
My peers were annoyed and critical. I was baffled and outnumbered.
It never crossed my mind to say they hadn’t done enough. I just expected we’d all follow our own leads and share what we discovered.
Admittedly, I had more time than the others. But it felt more than that. Like I’d over-stepped some unspoken line on how much was acceptable. Enough.
I told someone how fed up I was of being told I’d analysed ‘too much’ (it wasn’t the first time). And out of anger came glorious enlightenment …
She said, “I don’t think you analyse too much, Sally, I think you analyse enough to understand”.
That was it! In a nutshell!
I wasn’t trying to be difficult or smart. I wasn’t analysing for the sake of it. I was just gathering enough information so something made sense. Held together.
In that moment, I was released from the shackles of other peoples’ opinions. About that, at least!
All I’d needed was to understand my own behaviour.
I wasn’t doing ‘too much’. I was just doing what was ‘enough’ for me. And I loved that those words had been reconciled in one sentence!
When has a problematic part of your being an HSP suddenly made sense?
When has clarity replaced confusion? Connected you back to yourself?
I really hope you’ve had an experience like that. And if not yet, then soon.
Watch out for next week’s blog – and another take on ‘enough’.