Do HSPs think they have a monopoly on being (highly) sensitive?!

I’ve heard those words as both a question and a statement.  And – recently – sensed them as felt but unspoken.

I understand that saying some people are HSPs can seem like it excludes others from being highly sensitive.  And suggesting sensitive people aren’t sensitive can be hurtful, even offensive.

So what do we mean by ‘sensitive’ and ‘highly sensitive’, and why are HSPs seen as a specific group?

Dictionary definitions of ‘sensitive’ include: delicately aware of the attitudes and feelings of others; quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences; highly responsive or susceptible; easily hurt or upset by the things people do or say.

Sensitivity, like many things, is a spectrum.  The Sensitivity Research website shares findings on the human trait of sensitivity, and reports that people tend to fall into one of three categories of sensitivity – low (30%), medium (40%) and high (30%).

It defines sensitive people as “those who are more strongly affected by what they experience”.  And it includes tests that measure that sensitivity – the higher the score, the more affected and the higher the sensitivity.

People can be highly sensitive:

To a range of things – like their physical environment (e.g. noise, lights, busyness); what they eat; the medication they take; the textures, tightness and seams of clothes.

For a range of reasons – like adverse life experiences or trauma (especially in childhood); family dynamics; social relationships; work conditions; a sense of difference from ‘the norm’; feelings of shame and fear of rejection.

Because of the way they’re wired.  Often called neurodivergence, I think of this as someone’s ‘operating system’.  It affects the way the world lands on the person; how they process experiences, make sense of things, communicate, relate, fit, conform … (or don’t).

So what’s different about HSPs (aside from what’s already covered elsewhere on this website)?

Health author Elizabeth Scott describes being an HSP as “when sensitivity rises to the level of neurodivergence”.  That degree of difference – from what’s regarded as ‘typical’ – reflects my experience of HSP wiring, both personally and professionally.

It shows up in:

– intensity of emotions and processing

– the fact this intensity is characteristic rather than subject or situation-specific

          – the scale of impact that both positive and negative experiences have

– difficulty letting go of unresolved issues, especially if perceived as important, inappropriate, unfair or solvable

– the extent to which all this depletes energy and leaves it in constant need of recharge

So, HSPs don’t have a monopoly on being (highly) sensitive. But these features – and their centrality to who we are – do make us an identifiable group at the high end of the sensitivity spectrum.

And, until we find a better term for it, we’re left with the one we have – Highly Sensitive Person.

Update: just read this article from the Sensitive Refuge which gives more information and perspectives on the differences between being sensitive and being an HSP.