The importance of being received as a Highly Sensitive Person

I know from my career as a counsellor how important it is for people to be seen and heard, and able to be who they are.   To ‘be received’ – that is, to feel welcome and be given time and opportunity to participate,

It’s particularly important for anyone who feels different for whatever reason e.g. age, belief, disability, ethnicity, gender, neurodivergence, sexual orientation.

As HSPs, our difference is our sensitivity.   And its nature and expression can often lead to us and it being rebuffed rather than received.

When we aren’t received and don’t feel welcome, it can really affect us:

We default to our belief that we are ‘less than’ or ‘not enough’, and then manifest that

We get more sensitive and more serious, which leads others to turn away (even more)

We withdraw, hope someone will notice and ask what we need, but they rarely do

We suppress who we are, letting others’ reactions become our reference point

Sadly, it results in a vicious cycle.  We’re not received, so we step back and censor who we are, which lessens our chances of ever being known, and then – worst of all – we stop receiving ourselves.

So what helps bring us back to who we are?

Acknowledge it’s hard when we’re not received.  Doing this is an internal honouring of our own emotions.  It’s self-compassion.  And if we don’t receive ourself, why should anyone else?

Remember what you bring to ‘the party’.  We’re great at focusing on what our differences and deficits are.  But our sensitivity has benefits too.  What do you offer that others can’t?

Act as if you are welcome.  We become small when we aren’t – or don’t expect to be – received.  Channel how you are with someone who values you.  Tap into that energy, let it buoy you.

Accept not everyone will receive you.  Someone once asked me if 25 out of 100 people getting me would be enough.  It made me laugh and put things in perspective.  That number would have been unheard of, and totally overwhelming.  The truth is, I only need a handful of people.

Embrace and trust who you are.  It’s so much easier to be your highly sensitive self than to please others.  Be the shape you are, not the shape others want or expect you to be.  It’s the biggest gift you can give yourself.

Receive yourself.  It’s the key to being received by others (at least those who matter).  It opens the door to belonging, connection and joy.  And it unlocks the potential you’ve always had.

In the words of Maya Angelou, “Nothing can dim the light that shines from within“.