Do you ever wonder if you’re ADHD, autistic or bipolar rather than a Highly Sensitive Person?

It’s not unusual for Highly Sensitive People to wonder if they’re something other than an HSP.  Or for them to be ‘mislabelled’ by others trying to find an explanation for their behaviour.  It can be a source of angst and conflict.

I’m not a scientist so what follows is my take on some similarities and differences between being an HSP and other what I call, “operating systems”.  This can be a controversial topic so I’ll own this as my perspective and talk in terms of my ‘symptoms’ and my current conclusions.  It will be a longer blog than usual, though still only a snapshot.

I wondered if I was bipolar because of the highs and lows of my emotions, mood swings and energy fluctuations.  I read about – and identified with – what people who are bipolar say about having empathy, resilience and tenacity.  But my highs and lows don’t manifest as manic episodes or depression, or last for days, weeks or months.  And my sensitivity isn’t a chemical imbalance which requires or would respond to medication.  Nor do I have the amazing (even genius) level of creativity that often goes alongside being bipolar.

My highs and lows are consistently strong emotional reactions to positive and negative events and experiences.  Things land deeply with me and this makes my emotions big, whether they’re up or down.  My mood changes because the data I’m constantly processing does; it will switch in an instant when something affects the existing ‘equation’ within me.  My energy levels fall with all this engagement and effort.

I relate to aspects of ADHD.  Like having a busy brain, passion, a strong sense of fairness and a tendency to daydream.  I can be a better starter than finisher for sure.  Plus – as the people around me know very well – I’m always ‘on the go’.  But I don’t struggle with what are often regarded as key ADHD challenges – concentration, attention, organisation and prioritisation.  ADHDers tend to move on to the next thing faster than I do (I can ruminate endlessly), and have a reputation for being ‘outside the box’ creative, not something I am.

My work as a counsellor, family experience and subsequent research led me to becoming aware of overlaps between HSP and autism: in traits like honesty, integrity, analytical skills and drive to learn.  And I’m aware of autists, HSPs and others having similar struggles e.g. being ‘high functioning’ in some areas and toiling in others; needing to mask natural ways of being to fit in; and susceptible to overwhelm and burn-out.  But I’ve always sensed autists as being way more intellectual than me, and generally having more evident skills and bigger regulatory challenges than I do.

I recently took an autism test at the behest of an academic and clinician who is herself autistic and believes HSP is part of the autism spectrum.  I don’t agree but took on the challenge anyway.  She told me the test was developed by autists and is regarded as a robust indicator of autistic traits.  I was curious about what it would assess and I use its language below.

• I score high on pattern recognition, remembering number sequences (like car registration plates), and getting upset with people bending or breaking rules (e.g. queuing and driving etiquette).  I also like to go over things and get them ‘just right’.
• In other areas, there’s a marked difference in degree.  I have areas of interest but I don’t get fixated with them.  I remember things but don’t memorise facts about topics.  I don’t want to learn everything I possibly can about a subject, just what I deem enough.  Nor do I get so engrossed that I miss meals or other important activities.
• Other indicators just don’t apply.  I don’t need (or like) routine, move my hands in a way that people find unusual, or calm myself with repetitive movements.  I don’t repeatedly say certain words or phrases that I’ve heard before.  And unexpected changes of plans don’t lead me to “break down emotionally”.

My score on this test and on earlier ones I’ve taken out of curiosity concluded I’m not autistic.  I’ve also had a look at Julie Bjelland’s idea of the ‘sensitive autistic experience’.  She previously identified as an HSP but came to feel that didn’t explain everything for her and her focus has now pivoted to autism.  Interestingly, her work on possible overlaps between HSP and autism helped me differentiate my experience.

Personally, I find that some questions in tests could apply to any sort of difference e.g. feeling misunderstood, finding certain situations difficult, hiding your authentic self, experiencing fatigue.  Maybe we’re trying to differentiate on the wrong indicators?  Maybe the spectrum should be sensitivity rather than autism?  Maybe Michael Pluess has already identified this with his work on sensitivity research.   For now, I remain happy in my HSP shoes – they let me stand comfortably in what makes sense of my sensitivities, lived experience, drivers and reactions.

My overall conclusion is that we are what and who we are, none better or less than any other.  All different, complex and unique as individuals, even within the same ‘grouping’.  Some of our traits might overlap with other operating systems (not necessarily named here) and some tests may bring out aspects of us that others don’t.   What matters is that we research enough ourselves to find what best fits and explains our experience, sensitivity and way of being (and doesn’t).  And find that we’re not alone or flawed after all.  Whatever (mix) we are, let’s embrace our gifts, manage our challenges and be ourselves in the world.  Maybe one day we can even do away with these descriptors!